2012 was not the year I had planned that it would be. Ask me last December where I would've been writing this now, and I would've told you a 100 mile run completer and a powerlifting meet competitor. Today I stand as neither of these. The following is an attempt to recap the year at hand.
Jan-April
This was the beginning of the end of my ultra career. I started off 2012 HOT by hitting a 52 minute PR on my GAC 50k Fat ass run, coming in at 4:58. I had not run in three weeks prior to this race and had not been doing very much running training at all. Like I mention in my post, I got lucky, which was a theme with my entire ultra career. I stopped loving running ultras after I ran 50 miles in 2011 and it took me almost a full year to realize my head was no longer in it. My last run was at the TARC Spring Classic in April of this year, where after completing about 10 miles I dropped from the race and headed home. I was having a knee issue that had been bothering me for several weeks prior to that and I knew that my head was not in it at all. I had to come to a decision to eliminate running from my life for the time being. My body was beaten up, I had muscle imbalances galore and I had made my heart issue worse from stressing over doing something I wasn't loving anymore. It was less difficult than I thought it would be to ditch the ultra lifestyle- it was no longer for me. Do I miss ultras now? No. But more on that in a bit.
May-August
I spent the summer working as a lifeguard and had plenty of time to train most days. I had the best job I could have ever asked for this summer. The majority of my training during this time period was powerlifting with body building movements thrown in. I experimented with a few routines, including a repeat of doing a 5 week trial of Layne Norton's program that I ran in 2011 with good results once again. I will likely do that in the summers because I enjoy it and it's a nice break. I did not do too much of note in training this summer besides aesthetically grew, which has been a goal of mine forever. I also did a few weeks of CrossFit at a local affiliate but did not like that because of the programming choices of the coach and quickly decided it wasn't in my best interest.
September-End of The Year
Probably the highlight of my year was hiking Mount Washington to the summit at the end of September. This was probably the one thing that makes me say "You did something that no one else is doing right now" throughout the entire year. I used to get that feeling a lot. In my mind, 2012 was a complete failure because of the choices I made. I no longer am an athlete- I am a normal person. This is my own fault and is something I am working on. Mount Washington was something I will never forget. Hiking has become part of my life and I enjoy it a lot, enough that I am looking at graduate schools away from where I want to go just so I can spend more time in the mountains. I feel better that I gave up ultras because of my enjoyment of hiking. I can still spend time with nature and get away from society for a while, just at a slower minute per mile pace. This is right up my alley and will (schedule permitting) become a bigger part of my life in 2013. Not for goals, not for aesthetics, but simply because I love being outside and hiking is one of the few times I ever feel totally happy anymore.
Besides this, I ran Johnny Pain's Gladiator program with good results. I now program very similar to how he does because I do believe in it. If I begin personal training soon, I will use many of the movements I learned from him. I am still getting stronger, which if for nothing else, makes me happy.
This was also the most significant part of the year because of my heart issue. I had to take three weeks off completely from training to get medically cleared to exercise because it continued to get worse. I am still waiting on the results of this, but I know it is mostly stress related.
End Result
2012 in my mind will forever be a year to forget, but it will be viewed as a stepping stone. I did a complete 180 of what I once was- a kid who would work his ass off to reach his goals to someone who had no goals and messed up priorities. I can kick myself as much as I want and feel poorly about myself for my lack of inspiration but I truly believe everyone needs to go through these growing pains to become a true adult. I am one year away from being in the "real world" if I so choose to avoid grad school (which sometimes sounds appealing) and even though I did not become someone I want to be physically this year, I have grown emotionally, mental, academically and spiritually on a higher level than I ever have in the past, or ever believed was possible in any given year. The 2012 end of the year Ben is more of the adult I will spend the rest of my life as than the beginning of the year guy could have ever imagined possible. I went through many more downs than ups this year, and all I can do is look forward to figuring it out for the best in 2013. A post will soon follow with a general outline, but I am not 100% sure how effective that will be because I have failed to adhere to templates in the past.
