Back Squat, KB swings, Burpees

Warm Up: (Pre conditioning)

100 single unders
50 arm circles
25 presses overhead w/ 45# barbell
____

Back Squat
3x5x285#
____

AMRAP 10:

20 DB Swings @ 55#
20 Burpees

4 Rounds + 9 swings

_____

Mobility:

2 min split hamstring stretch ea side
3 min couch stretch ea side


COMMENTS

• General: First metcon was really brutal, my lungs felt it for several hours. For about 5 hours after the metcon I felt the same feeling in my chest that I felt after the Ghost Train (sore, almost a feeling of my chest being pushed out too far too) but it went away around 8pm, which is about a day faster than last time. It may just have something to do with my lack of conditioning. My heart didn't have any of the palpitations it normally has after my workout, for what it's worth. Back squat I didn't max out on the last set because my legs were cramped up from not squatting in 9 days and I didn't want to get hurt.
• Nutrition: Dynamite. I started a new experiment with eating eggs (although I'm technically allergic to them). In the past I've had times where I get a really bad stomach ache when I eat eggs, usually so bad that I can't talk and I have to leave wherever I am to go lay down. So far I've worked my way up to 3 eggs at once without any discomfort, but I'm not 100% sure that won't change. My goal is to start eating 6 eggs a day for extra protein since I can hoard them from the dining hall.
• Body: Overall good, my legs are cramped from not squatting which isn't unfamiliar. My body loved the mobility. Elbows tweaked throughout the day but felt good during the workout.
• Sleep: 9 hours. Been sleeping pretty good when I haven't been going out, usually 8-9 solid hours
• Reflections: Tomorrow I still haven't decided what I'm going to do. I've narrowed it down to yoga, running or maybe even hitting the weightroom. Tuesdays will vary because I can't deadlift still because of my back but they will never be rest days. Only thing I'm nervous about right now is pressing with this weakness in my elbows, so I may not this week.

Back, With a Vengeance

I took this entire week off pretty much besides a little upper body training during the week to re-evaluate where I wanted to go from here after my failed attempt at running 100 miles. Here is what I've come up with:

I decided that the strict powerlifting/weight training, although something I love doing, is not for me simply because of who I am trying to become in the next few years. It's hard to sell an athlete on Crossfit when I don't even do it myself. Therefore the metabolic conditioning work outs of past will make their way back into my training. I'm going to give a CFSB template a go for now because I have experience with making good progress on that program, but may change to something else in a month or two depending on what I come up with. Instead of doing the straight sets across on my press, bench and deadlift I will do it the way Johnny Pain programs in GSLP (2x5, 1x5+)

As far as ultras go, I still have 2 lined up in the next 2 months. I'm doing the winter Fells race which I've heard is a ball buster. That one is in 4 weeks and to prepare I will get a few runs in between now and then. I'm also going to do the GAC Fat ass 50k again in January because it's free and it's a sweet course. These two runs should keep my endurance up enough so that with some extra running training in the spring I can have my 2nd go at a 100 mile run. I can't give up is pretty much what it comes down to. I can't just quit on a goal I set so long ago even if I do not like running that much anymore. I will accomplish this goal, and the next time I toe the starting line to run 100 miles, whenever that may be, I will be ready.

As far as my heart condition goes, I have a doctor's appointment on Thursday to get me referred to a heart specialist. I've only ever had problems with my heart during training during the Ghost Train race, which I think was from several hours of being in an elevated heart rate stage. I chose CFSB with the intent that there will be no problems with my heart as I've done a few conditioning work outs recently and didn't notice anything. The first step here is getting healthy, and if my heart says I need to stop training for a while to do this then I will. I'm going to be monitoring it a lot more closely. I also had a little elbow pain the other day which scared me, because I've had such bad problems with it in the past that I may also need to monitor that and change on the fly based on how it's feeling. If my body tells me to rest then I will.


Few others things-- I'm going to start becoming a stickler about my warm ups for work outs by posting them along with my work out everyday. I think this will help keep me honest with doing them and save a few injuries. On top of that I will be implementing the mobility wod once again in some form, just not sure how yet. The key needs to be consistency which I never seem to have because I shoot for too much mobilizing each week and get unmotivated to do it. Either I need to suck it up or lower the amount of time for the benefit of long term. Diet will change as well, I'm done being overweight for someone with so many goals. No one will ever look up to me if I'm like this in a few years so it's time to make the change for good. I'm confident I will be able to change this permanently as I'm probably the only one who knows how bad my eating has been at times.


Regular blogging begins tomorrow, I will begin posting my heart and soul into this blog from here on out. I think this is a big moment in my life to finally embark on a journey to my goals (whatever athletic field that may be in), and I'm taking it as seriously as ever. Hopefully my readers come along for the ride.



Note: I'm beginning my goals for 2012 and I can say that half of them will probably not even be physically related, similar to this year. I've noticed the last 2 years that I hit the main goals I really want, but the ones I just set "because" usually fall through the cracks. Next year will be less goals but all of them will be achieved. I'm thinking 2012 is going to be the year where I finally try to take my music skill to the next level, which I'm really excited about. I've been playing acoustic guitar for 3 years but I'd like to start performing someday and it's going to take just as much work practicing as it will to do any type of physical training. On top of that I'm also looking at learning to meditate in 2012.

Realizations

Ghost Train Trail Race- 30 Miles completed in 7 hours



Well, clearly I did not meet my goal or anything even close to it. The following is an attempt recapture everything my brain has been through today.

I cruised through the first 15 miles feeling pretty good. My legs were a bit heavier than I would've liked but I felt really good. I also zipped through the first half of the second loop, heading into the aid station at mile 22.5 with things looking up. That is where the wheels fell off. I hydrated, ate some food and headed back onto the course to find my heart really bothering me. If you read my blog you know that I've had heart trouble recently due to stress and that it gets exasperated by caffeine and alcohol. This issue developed in August and has been frequent since. Basically it's a tight chest pain that "feels scary" because it's constricting one of my ventricles and making me feel really uncomfortable. I was worried that it may come up during this race and my plan was to take in as little caffeine as possible during the race and try to only limit it to over night if necessary. As I was running the pain got worse until I hit the only part of the course where there are several hills. As I was walking this section and my heart rate started to elevate even more, my heart began to pound in an extremely uncomfortable way, unlike any way I have experienced before. It was very painful and freaked me out because I knew very few people were on the course and if something went wrong right now I would be waiting a while for someone to come along and help me. All these thoughts rushing through my head while this was going on caused me to have a panic attack, something I think I've only had one other time in my life. I began freaking out, and experienced some weird sensations that made me really uncomfortable. Not to sound like a total pussy but after about 2 minutes this subsided and it caused me to break down. I was scared for my life, I didn't know what was going to happen and I knew that the stress of all these miles was making it worse. I began walking and ended up walking 7 miles to when I got back to the car. At that point I spent 20 minutes deciding what to do next-- upon which I called for a ride to leave Contois to finish the race alone (He was in first when I left, killing it.)

I had a choice-- walk for the next 23 hours, not get the full 100 but still set a distance PR or call it a day. I spent the first couple hours after I made the decision to drop at mile 30 depressed, angry and crying. I felt like I completely failed myself and the one goal I've had for 2 years of completing 100 miles. But after some serious thought I've come up with the following;

1. I did this for my health. I knew that something was wrong with my body beforehand and I knew that if it got bad I needed to monitor it and possibly make a decision like dropping, which ended up happening. The fact that dying actually registered in my mind (fucked up right?) scares the hell out of me and makes me proud that I have the sack to quit and not let my ego get the best of me. It's so hard to relay this over the internet, or to anyone else for that matter but I know me dropping out was the right decision based solely on something being wrong with one of the most vital parts of my body.
2. I didn't deserve to finish this race in the first place. I should be the first one to point this out because I follow so many blogs with people who run 100's like it's their job. My biggest mentor is a runner who gets his ass out of bed everyday and runs before the sun is even up. Who am I to not run in my training at all and show up to the start line as confident as I felt? Who am I to think I can put my body through that when I've gotten soft over the last few months, spending time in the weight room but not focusing on my diet, sleep, alcohol intake, stress levels, conditioning levels, endurance, etc? The heart situation developed because I'm not managing relationships and events in my life well enough to the point where my heart cannot take the stress I'm putting on it. I'm not making it any better by being a slob in all the other aspects of my life recently. I've gone soft and this is something I can now acknowledge. To a certain extent I am glad I didn't finish because that would take away from the people who finish these things because they put their heart and soul into it.
3. I needed this to happen to further myself as an athlete and an individual. I needed something to make me feel defeated and broken to realize that I'm not doing myself any favors acting like this. If I ever want to reach the goals I've set for myself I need to get my shit together now or risk never being the person I want to be. The way I felt yesterday knowing that my current state of health is my own problem and that was the ultimate reason that I failed is not acceptable to ever feel again. My training everyday from now on will reflect that-- I will never enter myself into an event that I'm not well trained and fully prepared for.
4. UltraRunning may just not be my thing. I am and always have been in love with CrossFit and more specifically barbell weightlifting. I can honestly say the spark for running has faded in and out since I completed my 50 miler in the Spring, which is reflective of how little I have run in the past couple months. One thing I know I love is running on trails, and being in the woods in general. Had I never started this quest I may have never discovered my love for the outdoors, so I can't say I regret a thing. I'm questioning whether or not I want to attempt to do this again, and if I had to guess now I would say the answer would be no. I currently feel as if I've given all that my body and mind are interested in giving to this particular sport and it may be time for a new goal.

All that being said, what happened during this run changed me for the better. I plan to take several days off, probably another week at least before I begin training again but when I do things will be different. I will begin training seriously after Halloween weekend. This week I will relax and be a normal college kid for the last week of my life. But when I'm back, I'm going to be hungry again to compete, to hit every training session like it's my last because I know that if I ever want to be something special I need to work my ass off every single training session from now on. I know that I need to get my diet straightened out once and for all for the rest of my life. I'm done being inconsistent and not liking my appearance even though I've been seriously training for nearly 3 years now. I need to fix the lazy mindset I've acquired and get myself healthy and figure out what I'm going to put all my energy into next. I'm going to begin the transformation into the adult that will change other people's lives and set the best example I can in my own personal goals that will reflect on who I am. Lastly, I also need to start blogging again every single day so in the future I can figure out what I did wrong if I do indeed fail again somewhere down the road. It could be another 100 mile attempt, it could be the CrossFit Games, competitive powerlifting, or something I don't even know about yet. My point is that my next goal will be something I give my all for and something I will do my absolute all out best in training for so that this kind of thing never happens to me again.


By the way, big shout out to Contois for his first 100+ mile finish. You earned every bit of it man I'm proud of you.

Here Goes Nothing

No training

COMMENTS

• General: Another day of no training, feeling real good and confident about this race. Feels so weird that writing this right now I'm only 12 hours out for the biggest and hardest thing I've ever put my body through. I can't wait to get going.
• Nutrition: Not too much food I wasn't hungry today
• Body: Feeling good, I was tired today though
• Sleep: 8 hours
• Reflections: I'm hoping to come back to my blog with my first 100+ mile run under my belt. All I can say is I'm going to give it my all and hope that my lack of running didn't backfire. I think I've got the heart to get this thing done.

Not Exactly the best week

No training

COMMENTS

• General: I was sick from Monday to Wednesday night with a pretty bad cold. I threw up Wednesday morning, not sure why. Today is Thursday and I'm feeling a lot better, thankfully. I have been drinking a lot of fluids and vitamin C. I think I'll be fine by tomorrow.
• Nutrition: Lots of food, some crap. Just eating a lot.
• Body: Feeling pretty rested
• Sleep: 9 hours consistently this week.
• Reflections: Less than 48 hours until race time, ready, psyched. I may post one more time but if not the next big post will be my race report.

Couple days of Strength

Friday-

Can't really remember what I did besides

Squat
280x5x2
1x10x280# (PR)

Bench Press
2x5x185#
1x9x185#


______________
TODAY:

Press
2x5x137.5#
1x8x137.5# (PR)

Curls
2x10x95#

Bunch of other acessory work


COMMENTS

• General: Well that's it, I'm officially done training until my first attempt at running 100 miles. I didn't squat today just to be safe. Besides what I do in classes the next few days (I am a PE major so we have to move around a lot in class) I will be doing very little physical movement over the next 4 days. I'm also pretty excited to take 2-3 weeks off of strength training to let my body catch up and allow me to come back unbelievably anxious to hit the barbells again.
• Nutrition: Good
• Body: Feel decent. My back is STILL not better, which really sucks. They offer free PT on campus here which I may look into after the race. At this point I don't know what to do.
• Sleep: 9 hours consistently the last few nights
• Reflections: So I'm really thinking a lot about this race, getting really excited for it but I'm also pretty nervous. I have not run much at all and that won't give me too much confidence going into it but I'm a confident person that honestly believes I can do whatever I set my mind to. I've been putting myself there the last few days, middle of the night with 40 miles to go and just pushing through it. I'm ready and I want to finally get it under my belt so that I can move onto the next face of my life with training. I can honestly say that after this race I do not think I will attempt any more ultras for the time being, unless of course I do not run 105 miles where upon I will go for it again. Failure is not  an option to me but you never know what could happen. Side note, but I'm also planning on getting my third tattoo to signify that I ran 100 miles in my lifetime sometime after the race. I'd like to hear any suggestions if anyone has one. Thinking something to do with "Born to Run" because that hooked me on it.

Looking ahead to past the race, I'm thinking that I may give the Crossfit games a shot next year. I got an invite to enter as an affiliate team near my house (along with my best friend and training partner and his little brother). I have a great resource 10 minutes from my school in Crossfit Iron Will as the owner there is a genuine great guy and programs really well. So as now, I'm thinking that may be my next goal in training. I may join CFIW and train there full time as there are a few fire breathers there and it's not too expensive. Who knows what will happen and I shouldn't even be thinking about it right now but I want to write it down to reflect on my thoughts in a month or so.

Press, Pullups, Pump, Row

Press
2x5x135#
1x8x135# (PR)


Chin ups
12 (PR), 10, 8

Tricep Pulldowns
2x12x160# cable

DB Rows
2x10x75# each arm


1k Row For Time:
3:15


COMMENTS

• General: 1k row absolutely smoked me. Too intense for the lack of conditioning I've been doing recently, but it goes to show I needed it. Press seems to blow recently, not sure what's up but 2 weeks off from lifting starting next Tuesday should help. I thought I was good for 10 at 135. I'm going to start programming DB rows once a week because I've noticed they increase my delt size and strength.
• Nutrition: Pretty good, I ate a fuck ton of food. I re-introduced milk today for the first time in a while, and I'm thinking about getting serious about taking it in after this race for strength purposes. If I did do this it would be in slow doses gradually increasing.
• Body: Back is bothering me from yoga yesterday, not sure why
• Sleep: 9 hours. For people who can't sleep well sometimes I recommend taking a combo of melatonin, fish oil, zinc and magnesium before bed. I wake up feeling like I slept 15 hours everytime I do this.
• Reflections: Good day, going to condition the last 2 strength sessions. Starting to get nervous but excited for Ghost train.

Yoga

P90x Yoga Video- 1:33 min of intense yoga


COMMENTS

• General: The more I do yoga the more I realize it needs to be a place in my regular training. I always feel less stressed, looser and healthier when I do it consistently. This will be the last time I do it until after my race because it is taxing on my CNS especially in my legs and I'd rather not risk anything.
• Nutrition: Really good minus some hummus and pita at lunch, mostly paleo
• Body: Chest and legs were sore today
• Sleep: 9 hours plus a nap during the day today
• Reflections: Thought of my first goal for 2012-- to learn how to meditate fully for 10 minutes uninterrupted. I've heard its a powerful practice and that working up to 10 minutes is a difficult but obtainable milestone. I think it will be beneficial to me as an athlete and as a person outside of the weightroom.

Good strength day

Back Squat
2x5x275#
1x11x275# (PR)

Bench Press
2x5x185#
1x9x185# (PR)

Curls
EZ bar curls, 3 sets with 80# for 13, 8, 8

Pump

Back Pump machine 2x8x100#

COMMENTS

• General: Felt really good training today after a long weekend. Squat was a good PR, could've hit another rep most likely but I didn't want to fail in the gym I lifted in. Call me a pussy but whatever. I reset my bench and hit a 2 rep PR from when I did it last time, meaning this program is working really well.
• Nutrition: Really good today
• Body: Back was really tight all weekend
• Sleep: 9 hours
• Reflections: Only 2 more strength sessions before the race. Looking forward to getting after it the rest of this week.

Weekend Off

No training Saturday or Sunday


COMMENTS

• General: This weekend kind of got away from me as far as being productive. I saw some old friends I haven't seen in a few months and met some new people in a town I'd never been to before so it was fun but I wish I had done something
• Nutrition: Pretty poor, I drank and ate some crap throughout the nights
• Body: Feeling good, back was tight when I woke up the other morning but I think it's fine
• Sleep: Maybe 9 hours combined between the 2 nights....
• Reflections: This was my last weekend until the race where I'll be going out. Time to get everything I can ready mentally and physically for the run. My tentative plan for the next month is:

This week: Train using GSLP as usual, couple conditioning sessions. Last week of full training
Next Week: Train Monday, light workout Tuesday, done training until race day
Race on the 22nd
Post Race: 10 full days of NO training. I'm going to be very serious about this because after my last 2 ultras I've jumped back into it too quickly and ended up getting a serious cold and/or injured both times. I'd rather take some time off and fully heal up. I'm also going to use this time to do some research and figure out where I want to take my training for 2012, and what I want to do as far as training. I think it'll be a great time to do that because although I hate to say it, if I was to not finish this 105 mile run then I would be very determined to attempt it again. If I finish I may choose to take another path in 2012. I think it's also a good time to take 10 days off just because it will likely fix the little bit left of the injury in my back and give my upper body a rest.

2 days I forgot to blog

Tuesday:
50 Burpees for time:
2:27 (pr)

50 controlled sit ups nft


Wednesday:

Bench Press
3x5x205# (PR)

Stiff Leg DL
3x5x225#

Back Pump machine
2x12x95#

1x9x135# close grip bench


Laps swimming in the pool for conditioning

COMMENTS

• General: Going to stall on bench soon, probably next work out. Other things felt good. Had to swim in one of my classes but counted it for conditioning because we went pretty hard. Other than that I'm feeling good.
• Nutrition: Good
• Body: Fine, back feels good but the stiff legged probably werent a good idea
• Sleep: 9 hours
• Reflections: Not much ,need to remember to blog. I started therapy again at school to hopefully alleviate some of the stress that my heart has been experiencing. My heart hasn't been bad this week.

Squat, Press, curl

Back Squat
2x5x265#
1x10x265# (PR)

Press
155x1, 175x1 (f)
160x2 (PR)

Curl
1x10x100# BB curl

COMMENTS

• General: Back to squatting, felt really good. Back is a little tender but I think I'm good to go with squats again. Press was an attempted PR, poorly executed. Worked out on an empty stomach which was probably the reason.
• Nutrition: Decent
• Body: Fine, wasn't sore at all from my run on Saturday
• Sleep: 8-9 hours
• Reflections: Crossfit tomorrow, strength training Wednesday. Less than 3 weeks until race day

Long Run

18 mile run in 2:50:00-- covered several trail areas around Grafton including Rayburn, wheeler, webber property, brigham hill trails and behind Wyman gordon. Done with Contois at 6am


COMMENTS

• General: Longest run since my race in August and it felt really good. My CNS is not recovered from the yoga I did this week, and uphills today made me have to walk a lot more than I wanted to. I am not sore whatsoever from this run and wasn't about 2 hours after I was back and had eaten. Pretty sure today proved that I'm ready to attempt a 100+ mile run in a few weeks.
• Nutrition: Ate a shitload of food. I'm hoping eating like an asshole today will help my lifts when I get back in the weightroom monday.
• Body: Tired, but nothing sore. CNS is toast though
• Sleep: 5-6 hours with a brief nap
• Reflections: Really cool course designed by Contois today. Good mix of everything. No workout tomorrow but back to GSLP tomorrow.